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Our deepest condolences go out to you if you’ve recently lost your mother. Many women say that losing their mom is the hardest thing that they’ve ever experienced. The mother-daughter bond is often very deep. Even if you didn’t have a close-knit relationship, the death of your mom may leave you feeling lost, angry, or devastated.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- Step 1: Give Yourself Time
- Step 2: Think About Your Memories of Your Mom
- Step 3: Reflect on Other Aspects of Your Mother’s Life
- Step 4. Get Inspired by the Words of Poets
- Step 5: Write an Outline of Your Thoughts
- Step 6: Get Feedback
- Step 7: Practice
- Eulogy for Mother from Her Daughter Examples
As you plan for your mom’s funeral, you probably are looking at eulogy examples online for help on how to write an appropriate tribute for the woman who taught you everything.
Let us help you with this difficult task. Keep reading to gain insights on how to write a eulogy for the most important woman in your life.
If you'd like some help sorting through all of the responsibilities and tasks you might be facing after the death of your mother, check out our post-loss checklist.
Step 1: Give Yourself Time
Make sure you give yourself an appropriate amount of time to write a eulogy for your mom. This may be the hardest thing that you will ever have to write. Unless you have a lot of experience with the written word, it’s going to take time to sort through your feelings and organize your ideas.
Your mom may still be alive — but may have experienced a lengthy illness and isn’t expected to survive. In that case, you may consider working on the tribute before she is gone.
Planning for a funeral takes a lot of time and organization. Besides writing the eulogy, you will also need to pick out a casket or urn, make arrangements with the officiant, fill out paperwork, and create a slideshow of photos to play during the wake.
Pro tip: You may notice that you’re unable to think clearly when you’re grieving. This “brain fog” can result from a variety of reasons, and it’s rather common. This is why it’s essential to give yourself plenty of time for the task. It may take you longer than you anticipate.
Step 2: Think About Your Memories of Your Mom
Your thoughts of your mother may bring you back to your childhood. You may think about the feel of your mom’s cool hand on your fevered brow. You may remember how much your mom loved decorating for Christmas or how excited she always was to take out the boat for the first time in the spring.
Maybe the memories of your mother will bring back particular smells or tastes. Perhaps you associate a specific music genre or song with your mom, and you know that you’ll think of her every time you hear “Yesterday” by the Beatles.
If you have been living on your own for a while, think about how your relationship with your mom has changed since you have grown. Perhaps you’re reminded of advice that your mom gave to you as an adult or how much she loved being a grandma.
Pro tip: Not all your memories may be good. After all, a mother-daughter relationship may be frustrating at times. As you write the eulogy for your mother, only include references to the happy times. Doing otherwise would be considered inappropriate.
Step 3: Reflect on Other Aspects of Your Mother’s Life
As daughters, most of us have a rather narrow view of our mothers. We tend to think of our moms by how they relate to us instead of thinking of them as full-fledged women with their own thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and ideas.
It may be hard for you to imagine, but your mom wasn’t always a mother. Chances are, your mom had interests, activities, and work outside of you.
Pro tip: Before you write your mom’s eulogy, interview her coworkers and friends. Talk with your mom’s siblings and parents, if they are still alive. Your mom had many different facets, and you may want to expand your view of her not only to write your eulogy but also to have a greater understanding of this woman.
Step 4. Get Inspired by the Words of Poets
You’re probably already looking at online eulogy examples but may also want to spend time reading grief-inspired poetry. There are a lot of verses in books and online that are written by professional and amateur poets. Their words may inspire you to create your own poetry, or you may simply use one of those pieces in your mother’s tribute.
Make sure you explain where the poem came from if you are using another author’s words. For example, if you use the popular funeral poem, “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep,” introduce the verses this way: “I think the poet Mary Elizabeth Frye describes best how my mom would want us to act on this occasion. Allow me to read Frye’s poem, ‘Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep.’”
Pro tip: There are a lot of online lists to assist you in finding a poem about your mom’s death.
Step 5: Write an Outline of Your Thoughts
As we mentioned earlier, your mind may be a jumble of thoughts since your mother’s death, and you may have an abundance of material to write about for your mom’s eulogy. To keep from presenting a long, rambling tribute speech, create a simple outline of your points to organize your thoughts.
For example, perhaps you want to divide your speech into certain years of your mom’s life. Maybe the first part of your talk will be stories from her childhood and school days, and you can end your speech by discussing her golden years.
Or, you may want to organize your tribute by her characteristics. At first, you can give examples and stories that show what a selfless person she was. Next, you can talk about her creativity, and finally, you can talk about how she had a big heart.
Pro tip: Make sure you use plenty of examples and entertaining stories in your speech instead of speaking in generalities. For example, instead of saying that your mom was kind-hearted, tell how she was a foster mom to dozens of kids, adopted many animals from the pound, and volunteered at a homeless shelter once a week.
Step 6: Get Feedback
This step is critical. Make sure you get feedback from several other people on the text of your speech. While it would be helpful if those people knew your mother, it is not necessary. One benefit of having someone who knew your mom is that he or she may give you examples of stories to add.
Ask them to correct your eulogy’s grammar and word choice. You may also ask whether or not the stories present your mom in the best light possible.
Pro tip: Run your speech through a high-end grammar program like Grammarly — even though a speech doesn’t need to follow all grammatical conventions like a published piece of writing. Grammarly will also alert you on redundant phrases as well as give you ideas on how to vary your word choice.
Step 7: Practice
Make sure you practice giving your speech to a small audience before giving it during the funeral service. You may be worried that you will cry while delivering your address. If tears come, your audience will be understanding. If you are worried that you will not be able to get through the text, you may ask a friend to be on standby to take over if you can’t finish.
Pro tip: Present the speech in front of a mirror or record yourself giving it. Watch your posture, mannerisms, or expressions that may distract from your message.
Eulogy for Mother from Her Daughter Examples
Here are some quick examples of text to inspire you as you write your mother’s tribute.
“My mom gave my siblings and me a glorious childhood. My mom would play games, teach us songs, and take us on fun outings all over the community. Everyone from our neighborhood remembers our fantastic light displays, and although many people thought that dad put up the lights, it was actually our mom.”
“It wasn’t until I was an adult that I understood how hard of a time my mom had during her early life. Even though I think she suffered a lot, she never once complained. She just worked hard to make sure our family was content and happy.”
“Vivacious. That is one word most people would use to describe Mom. She was always the first one to volunteer at PTA functions. She was the one who would lead my classmates in singing ‘The Flintstone’s’ on field trip bus rides. Mom always had a joke, and her laughter often rang through our house.”
When Words Don’t Come
We hope that we’ve given you sound advice on writing a eulogy for your mother. Even so, you still may find yourself struggling to find the perfect words.
The reality is that your audience will understand if you struggle. Everyone knows that losing your mom is a traumatic event. You may even still be in shock. Do the best you can, and then let it go.
It is also important to remember that you don’t have to complete this task. Most officiants or ministers are happy to write the eulogy. An officiant or minister may even ask to interview you to learn about specific memories you want to include.
